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Marie Claire Dating專欄:愛情路上 只需屢敗屢戰


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文章由香港Lunch Actually創辦人兼CEO Violet Lim執筆

我曾經與初戀男友分手後在朋友聚會上遇上,場面有點尷尬。最近一次的見面,我發覺自己對初戀的記憶開始變得模糊。大家都各自結婚了,也有了小孩。有時候,我甚至會問自己,這事真的有發生過嗎?

那年我十五歲,而他是一個外表是挺帥、個子不高的插班生。經過他的一番追求後,我們就拍拖了。十七歲那年,我拿到獎學金到英國留學,跟他展開了遠距離戀愛。留學第二年,朋友跟我說他偷吃了,聽到這事後,我的世界都塌下來了。他不斷求我的原諒,我亦決定多給他一次機會。完成A Level後,我回到馬來西亞升學,我們又重新成為同班同學。

事情過了那麼久,我也忘了我們最後是因甚麼事情而分手。只記得分手是他提出的,我更用了好幾個月的時間才能從「地獄」走出來。當時我消瘦5、6公斤,身邊的人都非常擔心。我真的以為自己永遠都不會再找到真愛,每天我都靠張惠妹的「解脫」療傷。今天的我再回頭看這事,就覺得當時的自己實在太傻。所謂「愛一個,上一課」,這些戀愛經歷,不論是初戀、分手、失戀都是愛情上我們必須走的路。我不後悔這一段感情的發生,因為從中我更了解自己的真正需要,也領悟到如何能成功經營下一段感情。

今天我是一位專業的配對顧問,我發覺有差不多三成的單身人士沒有拍拖經驗。他們沒有談過戀愛的原因總不外乎父母反對他們在求學時期交男女朋友。完成學業後,他們非常投入工作,卻遇不上適合的對象。在不知不覺間,他們已經不再年輕了,即使到了三十而立之年,他們依然單身。但這些單身人士都有一定的共通點,他們都很害怕嘗試新戀情,因為擔心自己因選錯對象而受到傷害,更怕被錯的人誤了時間、青春。所以,他們寧願等待白馬王子、白雪公主出現,亦不寧願做錯一個決定。

可能你身邊的朋友不是一拍即合,就是和初戀情人結婚。但是,我敢保證他們都是少數。一段成功的感情往往需要一方的勇氣、另一方的接受,再加上雙方的真誠和包容。以創業為例,努力過後不一定會成功,因為成功還需靠一點運氣。談戀愛也是一樣,綜合你的勇氣、真誠、努力不代表愛情一定能開花結果,但是這一段小插曲可能是你愛情路上的一個踏腳石。所以,千萬不要氣餒!


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