First Date Hacks: Before, During and After!

Maria Azzahra

December 20, 2019

So you've managed to score that first date with your crush, or with someone you've been talking to online.

First dates can be nerve-wrecking, and it's normal to feel nervous, but don't worry! We've got you!

We have curated this special article for you, singles, on first date hacks, from before, during and after!

1 – Before the date - Grooming – How should one look
for a first date? Calming techniques?

Pleasant and presentable is the way to go. Dress according to the occasion. If you are on a movie date, jeans and t-shirt for guys, jeans and a nice top for girls will do. But if you going to a fine dining restaurant, you might want to dress up slightly, guys in ironed shirts, and in my opinion, a nice sundress for girls does the trick. If in doubt, it’s always good to be over-dressed than under-dressed!

Guys, remember to comb your hair, trim your nose hair,
shave, and if you have a tendency to sweat a lot, a dash of cologne helps. For
girls, do not overdo on the perfume. French perfumer Annick Goutal says, “Once
it goes beyond your two-foot to three-foot personal space, perhaps you put on a
bit more than you want to.” If you are applying makeup, keep it light and
fresh. Guys are usually put off by the caked-up look. Wear something you are
comfortable with, there’s no point wearing stilettos if you trip over on your
first date!

You are bound to have butterflies in your stomach on
your first date. That’s a good sign! It means you are excited to meet him/her.
Try to have at least an hour or two before the date to yourself i.e. not tied
up with work, or right after a soccer match. This will give you time to calm
yourself down, relax, and look forward to the date. You can call up a friend
prior to the date for moral support as well!

2 - During the date – Manners, Behaviour… How close is too close? How close can you get? How do you show interest? What should you talk about? (Any other topics?)

Different people have different ‘comfort zone’ level.
On your first date, do keep the same distance you would with a normal friend.
You could easily gauge how comfortable the person is by observing his/her body
language. If he/she steps backward or tilt his/her body to create distance, or
perhaps crosses his or her hand to create a ‘barrier’, then you would know that
you are too close.

To show interest, you could bend your body forward
while you are conversing. By nodding your head while the other person is
talking, and tilting your head slightly, you are indicating you are interested
in the conversation. For a guy, pay the girl a compliment now and then throughout
your date. If she exposes the palms of her hand facing you or twirls her hair
around her fingers while she is looking at you, she’s probably flirting with
you, hence showing interest in you. For a girl, to show interest, you could
also mirror your date’s body language and body positions.

You could always talk about your common interests and hobbies, your passion in life, or swap travel tales. However, always steer clear of the following: politics, religion, sex and ex-boyfriends/girlfriends. And always show your most positive side on your first date. No one wants to go out with someone who’s negative and always complaining about everything and anything. You can read our blog here about topics you can talk about on the first date.

3 - After the date – If it went well and you want to go out again, how do you approach it? Should you call him/her? Should the other one call you? If it didn’t go well. How do you turn a date down?

Well, there are no straight and fast rules when it
comes to dating. What works for some might backfires on others.

Some experts advise that the girls should never make
the first move. But in this modern day and age, I feel the girl too can
initiate the next date. It’s always nice to just drop your date a Whatsapp
message on the same day, or the day after to thank him/her for the great time
you had, and maybe suggest a meet-up sometime soon.

If you are not interested in the person, and he/she
asks you out again, always be polite and courteous. The direct approach would
be to tell the person that you would like to stay as friends so as to not to
lead him/her on. Or if you would not want to hurt his/her feelings, you could
gently let him/her down by declining his/her suggestion for another date by
telling him/her you are busy or already have other engagements. Most people
would get the message after a few declines.

There you have it, hope these first date hacks will help you in your next dates! And above all, don't think about first dates as meeting your potential husband or wife (cos of course that would add a lot of pressure on yourself!) Rather, just look at is as meeting a new friend!

Also, it's important to remember that love at first sight rarely ever happens in real life. So if your first date doesn't blow you away, we recommend you to keep in touch and go on second date! Chemistry can grow, and the more you get to know someone, the more you can eventually feel that connection and attraction. Give yourself more chance by not judging someone too quickly!