How to Set Boundaries from Your First Date

March 21, 2019

Meeting someone new can be pretty daunting but it’s important that you know how to set boundaries from your first date. That way, you’ll both know where you stand from the start and it’ll stop complications later.

We’ve all been there, in that situation where you feel like you’re not in control, someone else has all of the chips and you’re struggling to know how you got into this mess. Well, thankfully there’s a solution. By knowing how to set boundaries from the first date you can stop these awkward sfituations and move forwards together, on the same page from the start.

Checking in on communication

You need to clarify the way that you want to communicate from the start. Some people like to remain in fairly constant communication, messaging all day every day. That’s fine if you’re into it. Others like to have a daily check-in, some even less frequently.

It’s important that you both know the way you want to communicate and how often. That way one party isn’t left with the dreaded two blue ticks, wondering if they’ll ever receive a reply…

Personal Space

Everyone needs their cave time. Some more than others. Taking out some time for yourself is absolutely fine, and very necessary in all relationships. But you should be sure that your partner understands what you’re doing and why. If you just ghost them without reason, they’re going to think that you’re either upset at them or not interested in them anymore.

Chances are that as your relationship progresses these terms will change and you/they will be more happy spending longer periods of time together. From the start though, be understanding of yourself and your partner and ensure you both have your own space.

Share what you want from the
relationship

Are you looking for a long-term thing straight away? Are you going to be dating other people? Is this just a fling? These are questions that go through everyone’s heads at some point. We’re not saying you should interview your date from the start… but a few hints to give them an idea of what you’re looking for means you’re on the same page immediately.

Getting Physical

Everyone has their own very personal stand on this one. Some people like to be intimate early on in a relationship whilst others like to wait until they are really committed to each other. This is a highly personal choice and one which you should respect in a partner and they should respect in you.

It’s worth working this one out earlier rather than later so that no-one has false expectations or is made to feel undue pressure from the other party. Chances are that if you get on really well during your first date that you might be thinking the same thing anyway. If religion plays a part here then you can casually explain it from the start. Importantly, you have to be comfortable - and respecting yourself (and your partner) is how you set boundaries from the start.

Clarification is key

By being clear with each other from the start and you’ll be well on your way to enjoying a healthy and fun relationship. It's normal to have butterflies before your date, but it's important to know what you're looking for and what is acceptable and not to you before you dive into any situation.

If you're clear and know your boundaries, you're all set for an amazing journey to find love. Happy dating!

We have dedicated consultants to find you dates AND walk you through it, click the link for a free consultation!

Maria Azzahra